thinking

The warming heat of the sun has brought to mind yet again how thankful I am for all of you who take the time to visit this little page and how much genuine quality you have added to my life in so short a time.

Here's a little confession... I have never had any women friends -  never the real friend kind that you can feel safe in sharing important things.  Maybe it's where I live.  I've always felt rather alien here.  Or it might be because I've always been older than my chronological age [I was raised by my dear grandmother.] so I never had too much in common with the girls in my high school.  Of course, it didn't help that I was the tall gawky shy girl whose talents in sports were, well, nonexistent.

Sure there were girls that I talked to and ate lunch with but... they could never really be depended on to be very good friends for more than an hour or two at a time.  They were typical teenage girls, I guess.  There was one girl who was a good pal all through grade school.  Our birthdays were only three days apart.  We went to Sunday school together and sang in the childrens' choir together.  We made crazy elaborate Halloween costumes and, along with my two sisters, put on plays and musicals for my grandmother and parents.  We were in the same academic group in school too, so when we started junior high we had all our classes together.  Alas, somewhere along the way she developed this rather cruel streak and seemed to enjoy making me miserable.  Now, I didn't wear my hair in pigtails nor did I have big thick black-rimmed glasses with tape around the nosepiece like the brainy girls in the movies do but I may as well have.   If your the smart girl whose also painfully shy and thinks too much the last thing you need is a best friend who revels in announcing any embarrassing moment to  the entire school.  I guess it made her feel more important and strangely enough I don't remember ever being angry at her.  I do remember deciding that friends cannot be trusted.  And I've had no reason to think otherwise until now.

It's amazing!  Do you remember the feeling that fills your whole being when you really understand something for the first time?  For years whenever I read an article or book about women friends I was unable to really understand the bond that they often described.  Or, for instance, did you happen to see a television commercial that ran a few months ago with four women who went on vacation together?  I think the ad spot was for a hotel.  "What would they possibly do," I thought.  "And how would they get along together for an entire week?"

Hmmmm... perhaps friends truly value each other, share life's burdens, give each other strength...  understand when someone unearths well-masked treasures from the flea market or sews a sleeve on inside-out for the third time in a row.... encourage each other when ill-winds blow...  soothe troubled minds when creativity runs dry and one is left to battle the nausea-like frustration that remains.  I think they do. 

And that's what I feel here on this page and on all the other virtual front porches I regularly visit.  I'm a lucky girl.

Comments

[Tongue in Cheek]

That was nice! So very kind! The virtual front porch, I like being gathered here and sipping tea and chatting up a storm and admiring your art! Thank you for opening your front door to me!

[Enid]

I can completely relate to this post. I too have had few women friends (partly because I'm shy and can be hard to get to know), so it is very nice to find ladies such as yourself. Lulu, thanks for allowing me to sit on the virtual front porch with you.

[ULLA]

Lulu, beautifully put, isn't it amazing how technology makes the world so cozy? I think your words ring true for many of us... Sometimes its really surprizing how we discover true friends...

[Mrs.Staggs]

What a perfect way to describe the lovely visiting back and forth that we all do. I think there is something that feels rather old fashioned about it too. I've had many more thoughts of my grandmother and her sisters sitting around a quilting frame laughing and talking about things since I've started visiting Blogville...and have likened my feelings to that.
I'm happy to hear that you are feeling supported and cared about...you are, truly. I think that you just have to be yourself in life...in the end there will always be people who will appreciate you just the way you are. Those are the friendships you can trust. Forgive and forget the rest of it...life is much too short for dwelling on such things.
I'm a very shy person too...isn't it interesting how many of us are finding each other this way?

[courtney]

I am in love with your work, please let me know if you have some for sale??

[Sweet pea]

Thanks for stopping by my blog Lulu - you asked how I get so immersed in work that I can't stop, well.. It is psychological - when I have deadlines, I find it so much harder and stop and start and question all the time. When I create art for no reason but for it's own sake - that is when it feels like play!

Your talking about friendship got me thinking. Ulla mentioned that blogging captures a kind of old fashioned feeling and it is true. I think because we are using the written word, we have the time to think things out and say them with true feeling.
I also think communicating through these blogs does create friendships - we all have a common bond and are celebrating it by sharing.

I was also going to say that blogging keeps things short and sweet but I just disproved that!

[lauren Mumford]

Oh such a sweet blog entry! You said it all so well. I commented on mine in a similar vein just today. I was telling hubby that these blogs are like a new kind of neighborhood, connecting women, allowing each of us a peek into each others lives. Like Mrs. Staggs said, it is the new way of coming together, over a quilt, or other some sort of project, or just coffee/tea and conversation. Women used to do such things in their neighborhoods, but it's all gone now. So happy that it has been re-created via cyber space! I'm just as thrilled to find all of you kindred souls as you are lulu! I guess you can't say you "don't have girlfriends" anymore!

l

[Robin]

Blogging is really a wonderfully surprising medium for making new friends. I think of the chatter I have engaged in with people whose opinion was that people's increasing use of computers and the internet would contribute to their isolation and lack of social networks. How wrong! I personally thoroughly enjoy the positive, inspiring, and heartfelt bloggers I have encountered - including you, Lulu!

[Heather]

My heart just breaks reading this entry! I was that same kind of girl in high school, only maybe not quite so shy, but with the same kinds of friends. I had the very same experience with childhood friends for some reason turning on me and becoming incredibly cruel. It nearly tore me apart.

Fortunately, after high school, I was able to let go of that hurt and betrayal. I made some mostly superficial friendships for a few years and then happened to find my dearest, most wonderful friend. It took us a couple of years to realize it, though. I am so glad that I have her, even though she lives in another country, I can't imagine life without her.

I don't know where you live, but I do know that I would love to sit down with you for a cup of tea and get to know you better. From what I have read, you are a lovely, talented, kind woman and you can never have too many of those kinds of people in your life!